May 18, 2009

One Day it Will All Make Sense

Drives to drop-offs are getting more fun with the boys these days because Tristan is actually starting to, sort of, have conversations. Completely with nouns and an occasional adjective, but that's possible to do and be understood. It might not guarantee you thrive culturally, but you'll accomplish things to some extent. Just ask the next caveman you run into.

This morning after we dropped Julius at school we passed a few school buses because we were actually early today for a change. Seeing school buses is a big highlight of Tristan's day. (I have no idea why. I think because they are large. He likes big things.)

Our conversation went as follows:

Tristan: Bus! Bus!

Me: Can you wave at the driver? Hi Bus! (I wave. You can do that in the country and nobody thinks you're a freak.)

Tristan: Hi Bus!

The bus rumbles past and we see another one coming toward us in the distance.

Tristan: Ghost guy.

Me: Ghost? (I wasn't sure I'd heard it correctly.)

Tristan: Ghost guy.

Me: Are you saying the bus driver is a ghost?

Tristan: Ghost guy.

Me: Oh, the bus driver is a ghost guy?

Tristan: Mmmhmm.

Me: Is he nice?

Tristan: Nice.

Me: Oh. Well, that's good at least. That he's nice.

There was a moment of silence for both of us to contemplate how all the kids in our school district were being chauffered around the county by the cordial and well-mannered undead.

Tristan: Dirty.

Me: What's dirty?

Tristan: Ghost guy.

Me: Why is he dirty?

Tristan: Dunno.

He's not really good yet with abstract concepts like "why" and "how", so sometimes you have to go at it sideways.

Me: What got dirty on the ghost guy, Tristan?

Tristan: Booty.

Me: Booty? His booty is dirty??

Tristan: Mmhmm.

(Let's pause a moment for all the mothers and psychologists and general know-it-alls to finish analyzing this conversation and come to the conclusion that I have damaged my son during our latest potty training adventures. At the end of this pause for thoughtful meditation I would like to say... NO, I have never said booties are dirty. YES, I have said plenty of times that booties are stinky because they are. NO, I have yet to complain about any of the booty wastematter I have had to cleanup during the potty training process. I have been enthusiastic, smiling, cheerful and supportive. When it comes to potty training I make Mary Poppins look like Shrek.)

During the ride, after the revelations about the dirty-bootied, bus-driving undead, Tristan also proclaimed in his still-forming toddler English that he wanted to go see a ghost house. I have no idea where he gets ANY of this stuff because we don't talk about ghosts in our house. Must be the Scooby-Doo his brother watches.

He also said that all the windows in the car needed to be up because there was wind in Mommy's hair and that was bad. Also, the road on which the daycare lady lives is HIS because he made it with the help of the rocks and the bees.

Some days I wish I lived in his world. I bet the ice cream there is fabulous.

[photo credit: ImageMD]


  1. Wonderful. You'll never regret capturing his conversation at this age. You're going to long for these days in about 10 years!

  2. On a rare occasion I miss the toddler years....just not the tantrum part. Tristan sounds really entertaining like in a positive penis, booty, undead sort of way. Love it!

  3. While the story was funny, I'm completely floored by the fact that your post says it's Monday, May 18th, when it is still Sunday here in the Ozarks (I know this to be a fact because I just got home from church). I would have passed this off as a weird computer glitch, but then you talk about taking the kids to school. Weird. Maybe there is a rift in the space-time continuum.

    And I totally missed not having STSS.

  4. You TOTALLY busted me. I was hoping nobody would notice the weird date thing.

    What happened was this posted on Sunday and it was supposed to post Monday and I didn't get STSS posted until late Sunday, so it was all messed up in my little orderly world. I like to space the posts out with a couple days in between and messed it all up. Oh well!

    Anyway, STSS is there where it's supposed to be. If you want to be a big cheater like me just do your post and back date it for Sunday. LOL. Sorry mine was so late!

  5. BWAHAHA!!!! When Q was about that age, his older brother started school. And it was heck to drop Em off because Q wanted to go to school so bad. Every morning, full on tears and drama.

    The beginning of this year (kindy for him), he told me he was going straight to college.

    Ghost guy with a dirty booty, BWAHAHA. So cute.

  6. I love toddler conversation, just love it! I spent many happy hours deciphering what my boys were trying to say to me, even if it took months. LOL!

    Actually, I was in my thirties when I finally deciphered what my brother meant when he yelled he wanted a 'neenort' at about two years old. He meant an ice cream, but no-one could work out why 'neenort'. He meant a vanilla cornet (ice cream was scooped into wafer cornets, or cones, in those days). A 'nee' for 'vanilla', 'nort' for 'cornet'.

    Of course, he doesn't remember that now, but it made me happy.

  7. My kids say the funniest things, too, but I can never remember them long enough to write them down! Buses are definitely the highlight of my toddler's day, too. As soon as she sees one, she starts singing 'rou an 'rou (for the wheels on the bus go round and round.)

  8. your life is right out of a stephen king novel - only you're in arkansas, not maine. i would rather be in arkansas any day ... even this day! (at present, arkansas trumps texas)

  9. Awww. I SO miss those days when 4-year-olds said the most hilarious things. I'm surprised he didn't work the word "penis" into the conversation at some point? hee hee

  10. "When it comes to potty training I make Mary Poppins look like Shrek... best line EVER written in a blog!

    Love those toddlersations.

  11. Wendy, Both my daughters are all grown up but we still talk about some of their unique observations they voiced as children. When my eldest daughter was around 3 1/2 she asked me why are their lunch boxes up on poles? I kept looking until I saw her gazing at electrical poles with junction boxes at the top. I tell her now "I knew you were going to be a smart ". we still laugh about that.

  12. From the other side of the ocean - I have just broken out in tears from laughing so hard.

    Thank you.

    Julia from Austria


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