May 20, 2009

Cat Scratch Fever, Duh Nuh Nuh

I've had this Ted Nugent song in my head all morning. I suppose I'm dating myself at this point, although maybe by now everyone understands that I'm a sedentary middle-aged mother-of-two who knows who Ted Nugent is. Although, honestly, I think I mostly know who he is because of my older brother. Does blaming it on my brother seem like a really pathetic attempt to hold on to my fleeting youth? (Oh come on, like you've never done it.)

The reason I have this song stuck in my head is because we are catsitting for my mom while she's on a road trip. We're watching her defective pound kitty that she's had for two weeks and he's freaking me out.

First of all, he's cross-eyed. So, he'll sit at my feet and stare at me with this vacant, cross-eyed look as if he's watching a gathering of invisible dead people behind me. It freaks me out. Then suddenly he leaps at me in what I assume is a gesture of affection but feels more like an attack from Inspector Clouseau's Chinese house servant, Cato.

Second, my mom brought him over injured. Just a few days after she took him home from the pound he ended up coming home looking like he'd been attacked by some wild animal or hit by a car or something. She thought he'd have to be put down, but didn't and has kind of mostly recovered except for this big flap of cat skin that, much to my disgust, periodically opens and closes revealing a gaping, seeping wound. Nice.

I got home yesterday and found the aforementioned skin-flap lying on the porch and was at first alarmed since now instead of peek-a-boo cat-meat we have 24/7 cat meat that appears to be oozing pus. However, overnight I've decided this might actually be a good thing. It seems to be repairing itself quicker without the fur.

My adult understanding, however, is not shared by Tristan who, while rolling around on the floor near the cat discovered the exposed cat-meat and started shrieking, in one of his more frequent moments of clarity, "MAHMAAAAAYYYYY, NEED YOOOOOOOOO!!!!" He was careful to point out Brutus's exposed cat-meat defect and I felt complimented that he thought I could actually do something about it besides dry-heave.

I told him I thought it was going to be okay and he was comforted enough by that to go on and eat some of Brutus's cat food and play in the used litter pan.

The boys have been wanting a cat and I'm hoping this will get it out of their system. I know that two days in it's already out of mine.

(For illustration you can see Tristan and Brutus fighting over a blanket and Julius deciding how close is safe to get to Brutus. How can a child be frightened of a cat?)

[image credit: The Rocketeer]


  1. Obviously, you need to get your kids a proper a dog. :)

    He is a pretty cat though and you never know, he just may see dead people.

  2. Congratulations, this may be the grossest thing I've ever read.

  3. I have a stomache ache now to go along with my sinus headache!! Should you pour some hydrogen peroxide on it? I bet the kids will miss him when your mom comes back!

  4. I'm gonna have to side with Shawn on this one ... Funny, but still YUCK! I think poor Brutus needs to be seen by a vet ...

  5. I have to apologize to everyone. A friend of mine just sent me a message saying that because I have boys who are gross (thank, Elle) I have a higher resistance to things that are grotesque and that I should have warned you all beforehand in case you are delicate.

    On the other hand, she lives in California where people are very PC and must do a lot of nurturing of themselves and others. It's not like here in the south where babies nurse directly from the goat and get thrown in the lake to learn how to swim. And walk to school in the snow uphill both ways.

  6. Hey, we used to walk to school in the snow, uphill both ways, and I'm in England! LOL!

    Poor kitty. Actually, current thinking is that hydrogen peroxide isn't especially good for open wounds like this, and besides would probably get you torn to shreds. But running plain tepid water over it several times a day would be a good move - or if it's infected (sounds like) maybe he needs antibiotics?

    But yes, you need a dog. Not that they don't get open wounds, because they do. Just saying. :p

    How long are you having to watch said exposed cat meat?

  7. Two weeks. Well, about 12 days now I guess. I'm counting down. I considered briefly putting antibiotic ointment and gauze on it, but when I called mom she said if I went anywhere near his leg he'd probably maul me. It actually looks pretty good today, although there was another screaming fit with Tristan who got me out of the shower yelling "NEED YOU NEED YOU" again. When I got there he said I needed to put the kitty's boo-boo in the trash. I stood there for a long time trying to figure out how to explain to him that wasn't really possible.

    In any case, it's at least scabbed over now and I think it's going to be okay.

    And by the way, when I type in "cat meat" it's not nearly as gross to me as you typing in "cat meat" and me reading it, so from now on let's just call it something else like "the unfortunate boo-boo spot" or TUBBS for short.

  8. Now I feel kinda' gross for wondering what the wound looks like *L* That flap of skin/fur just kept germy stuff in...better open and clean...*S*

  9. Poor, gross kitty cat! I absolutely ADORE animals, including cats, dogs, horses, etc... but MY mom's cat is a bitch. I could NOT be nicer to her when I visit, and she totally blows me off. Her name is "Itsy Bitsy" (insert finger down throat) but I call her "Itsy Bitchy" - "Bitchy" for short...

  10. You mean Sweaty Teddy? Ya, that's cool.

    Here's a bright side to your disgusting cat ooze: be thankful it doesn't have a 'warble.' We had a cat with a warble. Now everyone go and google that. Except the California people. Because it's horrid.
    Gross cat stuff *is* much funnier when it's somebody else's though, so thanks!
    Oh, and I have a dog you can have. For free. Please?

  11. I have a boy . . . so I wasn't totally grossed. Still, I would think this cat experience would get them over the let's-get-a-pet hump pretty damn fast.

  12. Gross. Our cat was on the losing end of a critter fight one time and had some exposed cat meat on his head, too. I couldn't even look at it. I threw him in the garage and called my husband at work to come and take care of him.

    And by take care of him, I mean TAKE HIM TO THE VET, of course. Not that other kind of take care of him. Which actually might have been better than paying that vet bill.

  13. Loved your story about the poor kitty.

  14. Wow. Yuckola! I guess we've all had those Pet Semitary moments.

  15. My husband will quote Ted Nugent to me. Why? I don't really know! Now I have Cat Scratch Fever in my head...thanks so much! Anyway, I hope Brutus's wound is healing.

    My toddler is terrified of cats. I'm not sure why!

  16. "And by the way, when I type in "cat meat" it's not nearly as gross to me as you typing in "cat meat" and me reading it"

    ROFL!! Karma. Tee hee.


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