March 19, 2009

Wendy Sees

I saw a fun meme today over at Middle Aged Woman Blogging. Except now I'm aggravated because so many people are doing it that I can't do it now because it's messed up Google.

Messed up Google... really? How can that even be?

The meme goes like this. You go to Google and type in "[your name] needs" (WITH the quotes but without the brackets) and then you make a list of things you see in the search results. Only NOW when you do it you see twelve million other people with my name who have done the meme so instead of getting really funny search results, you get really funny versions of other people doing the meme and they all look pretty much the same.

I thought about sitting around and just whining about it and feeling sorry for myself, but then decided I'd pick another word instead of "needs" and see if I can still get something funny. Below is the result of the modified meme searching for "Wendy sees" via Google:

* * *

  1. Wendy sees red
  2. Wendy sees the horror
  3. Wendy sees trouble
  4. Wendy sees more horror (This is starting to become alarming.)
  5. Wendy sees Billie being tortured for being alone (I'm thinking of quitting while I'm ahead. Am I ahead even??)
  6. Wendy sees the helmet (Wendy has a feeling she should be putting the helmet ON.)
  7. Wendy sees herself as very lucky to have a blessed life and great family (except for poor, tortured Billie)
  8. Wendy sees quickly the level of commitment and caring she brings to her job (on what day?)
  9. Wendy sees the discovery that Lucien has a phobia of clowns (poor Lucien)
  10. Wendy sees things
  11. Wendy sees Alaska as a place where she can be free

Okay, now as amusing as this pasttime might be it doesn't seem nearly as satisfying as describing what I actually have seen today. Anyone with a weak stomach should go to a nicer, more reader-friendly blog.

  • Wendy saw her mother trying to make "fake pickles" in the refrigerator at work.
  • Wendy saw inside the window of a rent house that had 80 pounds of dirty laundry on the floor.
  • Wendy saw The Toddler sneaker-skiing on a mound of gravel.
  • Wendy saw a baby kitty folded in half by her two year old.
  • Wendy saw her mother flirting with an old man and was alarmed and sickened by it.
  • Wendy saw her cup of tea boiling over in the microwave.
  • Wendy saw a total stranger doing numerology in her office.
  • Wendy saw the decayed remains of a tree her brother cut down from her yard, a tree which grazed the end of the porch, bending down a corner of her new metal roof.
  • Wendy also saw that mysteriously a plum tree is also missing from her yard and would attribute that to her chainsaw-happy brother as well.
  • Wendy saw a creepy, diseased dog with wet mush coming out of its ear and eye (and subsequently had someone call the animal control officer).
  • Wendy saw The Toddler jumping up to try to catch the moon.
  • Wendy saw a note from the teacher saying her oldest son is advanced in literacy!
  • Wendy saw her husband explain to her advanced-in-literacy son that the word "there" is only ONE syllable, not TWO as in "thay-er". (This is what sometimes happens when you raise a child in the South.)
  • Wendy saw two unfamiliar teenage boys throwing sneakers into her yard.
  • Wendy saw her husband remove the garbage disposal and not replace it so now there's a big hole in her sink.
  • Wendy saw five, no... six Toddler turds in the bathtub. Just tonight.

Those are just a few things from my day. I hope yours was fabulous and totally poop-free. What did you see today?


  1. Ok, I was mad when I got here because I tried to go to the test post (I know it was just a TEST lol) because I thought there might be some construction guys still hanging around... but NO, page does not exist. grr. LOL This was so funny. I didn't see any of the fun things you saw :D But I did see my mother reenacting her past life as she told my somewhat frightened children all the juicy details O.o

  2. LOL. I just had this FEELING that someone would notice that test post! I was testing Mr. Linky for the upcoming "Small Town Snapshot Sunday"! :D

    In fact, you should have seen me trying to stealth in, do a test and get out before anyone notice. And I thought, "Oh someone who actually reads this blog in a feed is going to be confused. Maybe nobody will notice."

    Of course Kathy notices. :)

    Okay, honestly, I just did it to aggravate YOU, Kathy!!!

    Btw, your mom reenacting her past life is way better than fake pickles any day of the week. What *was* your mom in her past life anyway?

  3. At least the "fake pickles" vision and the "mom flirting" vision didn't overlap.

    I would like to give your husband an award for nipping "thay-ur" in the bud.

    And that...that's a lot of toddler poop.

  4. LOL! This is awesome, Wendy! I haven't tried yet but will...

    btw... Wendy sees Alaska, but can Wendy see Alaska from her house?

  5. She was a widow during the civil war :D at least that's what she told my kids. Told them all about her husband dying and everything. I almost slapped her!

  6. WOW on the turds.

    What are fake pickles? How do you fake pickling something?

    Ally saw a group of 49 small Japanese teens doing a bizarre dance which almost aborted in the middle when one of them fell over a bit and the rest of 'em got the giggles.

  7. Fake pickles are where you take either a cucumber or a particular type of BAD pickle that nobody will eat and turn it into a pickle that everyone will eat. (Technically, I guess a more accurate term might be "altered pickle".)

    In this particular case I have a whole gallon of dills that my brother brought me that I don't like. My mother, who doesn't waste ANYTHING decided to turn them into NEW (fake) pickles by slicing them and putting them into kosher pickle juice with garlic cloves and jalepenos. We're waiting to see if they actually morph into something edible.

    Where do you see 49 tiny Japanese people dancing? I want to go there!

  8. Hehe, I am familiar with altered pickles. Kind of like taking the concept of leftovers to a whole new level.

    My mother teaches English to groups of Japanese students visiting NZ for a week. At the end of their stay, they put on a little performance for their host families, teachers and 'teacher helpers' such as myself. It's not always a very good performance, but I feel this widens cultural understanding etc.

  9. She was a widow during the civil war :D at least that's what she told my kids. Told them all about her husband dying and everything. I almost slapped her!

    (don't delete this one're giving me a complex :o lol jpjpjp)

  10. This was a fun post. I love the jumping up to catch the moon one, and the bath tub turd one. Ya, that is a little weird, but it brings back happy memories of a weird little pre toddler for me.

  11. Sorry, Kathy! Okay, actually it's YOUR FAULT that everyone got deleted. :) I was trying to delete your duplicate comment and I deleted EVERYONE'S comments. I'm a dork. I should not be allowed to have a blog as irresponsible as I am. Really.

  12. I told you my real name! LOL!


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