Here's how efficient I am... I did the 24-hour virus in about 12 hours. While I'm sore and tired today, I take great pride in streamlining the whole adventure. And I won't regale you with any tales from that 12 hours since it mostly involved lying around moaning and some other horrible things like me screaming for help in the bathroom and what I thought was a broken rib that turned out not to be.
Four of the other 12 hours that I saved I spent in the emergency room with my mom who was having some sort of heart-related episode which was not a heart attack. During that time she managed to impress the nurse by making a veteran doctor go nearly berserk and lose his composure (as only my mom can do). The nurse was amused and impressed and said in all the time she had been working with that doctor she'd never seen THAT happen. I'm accustomed to my mom's behavior with doctors and even I found myself scrunching down in my chair and pulling the little portable table over in front of me for cover.
If you've ever been waiting with a patient in the emergency room you know there can be a lot of down time while tests are being run and x-rays being examined. Ever curious, I amuse myself by looking in all the cabinets. I'm not sure how it is in the city hospitals, but here in the country they don't really lock supplies up so I check it all out just for the heck of it. If one were so inclined and had a big purse you could really stock your first aid kit up while you were waiting. I am neither inclined, nor do I carry a purse. Although, I will admit to giving my son a tongue depressor once to keep him busy, but that's about the extent of my pilfering from medical facilities.
While I was looking around I spied the pen the nurse was using to write in the chart. I rolled it slightly on the counter to see what was written on it. "Aaron Beasley Embalming Services" is what it said. Really. Even my mom who was lying on a gurney clutching her chest had to laugh at that one.
Thanks, Nurse Ratched!