February 17, 2009

Adventures in Health Care

Here's how efficient I am... I did the 24-hour virus in about 12 hours. While I'm sore and tired today, I take great pride in streamlining the whole adventure. And I won't regale you with any tales from that 12 hours since it mostly involved lying around moaning and some other horrible things like me screaming for help in the bathroom and what I thought was a broken rib that turned out not to be.

Four of the other 12 hours that I saved I spent in the emergency room with my mom who was having some sort of heart-related episode which was not a heart attack. During that time she managed to impress the nurse by making a veteran doctor go nearly berserk and lose his composure (as only my mom can do). The nurse was amused and impressed and said in all the time she had been working with that doctor she'd never seen THAT happen. I'm accustomed to my mom's behavior with doctors and even I found myself scrunching down in my chair and pulling the little portable table over in front of me for cover.

If you've ever been waiting with a patient in the emergency room you know there can be a lot of down time while tests are being run and x-rays being examined. Ever curious, I amuse myself by looking in all the cabinets. I'm not sure how it is in the city hospitals, but here in the country they don't really lock supplies up so I check it all out just for the heck of it. If one were so inclined and had a big purse you could really stock your first aid kit up while you were waiting. I am neither inclined, nor do I carry a purse. Although, I will admit to giving my son a tongue depressor once to keep him busy, but that's about the extent of my pilfering from medical facilities.

While I was looking around I spied the pen the nurse was using to write in the chart. I rolled it slightly on the counter to see what was written on it. "Aaron Beasley Embalming Services" is what it said. Really. Even my mom who was lying on a gurney clutching her chest had to laugh at that one.

Thanks, Nurse Ratched!

[photo: estherase]


  1. Do we have the same mother? Mine has been known to send doctors screaming from the room. Sorry for you misadventures.

  2. Well...LOL I'm at a loss for words. I hope your momma is ok now. The pen would have had me in the floor laughing :) And I'm glad you whupped that virus in half the time! You amazing woman you ;) :D

  3. You've brought back nightmare memories of waiting in Emergency Rooms, without even a tongue depressor for amusement.

    However, I'd go through it all again for the chance to see your mom bring a doctor to that point!

    Too funny.

    Hope your feeling better .

  4. Awww!!! You and your poor mom. And the poor doctor.

    They don't lock things up in the city either.

    And I do know of someone who pilfers. I don't think it's a good idea, lol.

  5. you and your mother are a riot. that is so funny about the pen. amazing!

  6. Glad your mum is OK.

    Speeding through the 24 hr virus in 12 is impressive. But you know, you probably missed some of the delightful details of the virus that are experienced by those that take their time. Sometime you've just got to stop and smell the flowers, you know?

    At a wedding we went to (an old friend of mine also called Wendy), the celebrant handed the bride and groom a pen to sign the register. Wendy announced to everyone "This says 'Vincent Family Funerals'!" Her 70-something mum was very quick to follow up with "That's a dead giveaway". Old, but sharp.


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