September 21, 2009

The Abuse Continues

My boys are going to the dark side. More and more they act like their father, talk like their father, throw temper tantrums like their father, and want to do things with their dad more often than me.

The other night I was tucking our youngest to bed, smoothing his hair with tickly mommy fingers, straightening the covers and that sort of usual nite-nite stuff.

Frequently he will hug my arm to his chest and nuzzle my hand with his face and say, "Stay, Mommy." It's so cute and heartmelting.

But this latest night was different. He looked up and me and said, "Daddy read me story."

"You want Daddy to read you a story?"

He nodded, "You go get him."

"Oh. Okay, sure. Will you love me forever then?"

He nodded and said, "Yes, just go."

"Oh, you want Daddy right now?"

"You just go. Get me Daddy. Him read me story right now."

His dad doesn't actually read him books. He tells really cute stories about various super heroes knocking on our front door and asking if Tristan can come out and do good deeds to save the world. It's very entertaining and they only last a few minutes long and Tristan will make him tell about eight of them in a row and then cries like the world is ending when he stops.

* * *

However, while Dad is fun, mom is the one they generally come to when they are upset or want some snuggling and loving up.

Last night I had a dream that a big race horse was in bed with me trying to eat my chicken noodle soup. When I woke up at 4:44AM I realized what I thought was a large soup-slurping thoroughbred was actually two boys -- one at my side pushing me to the edge of the bed, one at the end of the bed knocking my feet off so that I was only touching the bed from the knees up and with one arm dangling over the side.

As I lay there trying to figure out if I should kick them all out, move to the couch or just get up and do something productive I realized that Tristan had managed to wet the bed through his overnight pants. All over me. Not his DAD who is the fun one, but all over his mom and mom's side of the bed.  And then after I cleaned everything up had the nerve to ask me for a drink before going back to bed.

My response was, "I don't think so." And then I realized being only two he probably doesn't really get the art of snarkiness.  Although, I'm in no big hurry because once they figure it out then they start using it on you in retaliation.

I'm rethinking my mom's whole fly swatter thing.


  1. I was always told momd are for comfort and dads are for fun, and I think it's true. Fortunately for me, being a single parent, I got to play BOTH parts!

  2. I think that is how it most often works--moms are there for comfort, and dads are the sources of entertainment. My mom raised me by herself, though, so-like Tatiana-she played both roles for my brother and I. Now that we're older, though, I think my mom still wants us to run to her whenever something is wrong...(We don't fit in her lap anymore, though...)

  3. A wet bed. Ugh.

    You're right to temper the sarcasm. It definitely boomerangs! And fast.


    *sniff* sorry... couldn't help myself...

    Yep you and the ladies have it spot on - moms are hugs for boo-boos and dads are sparkle adventure tickle monsters. That's how it works in our house, except when dad's playing video games. Then all bets are off.

    Nice on the bed-peeing. Also totally something that happens 'round here. I hear your pain.

  5. So maybe they were trying to wake you up to get you out of the pee.


  6. I always said that Motherhood is a thankless job - until them little rascals have kids of their own. Then they start to look at you with new respect in their eyes. It's amazing.

    Fly swatter, huh? Hmmm.

  7. All my boys adore their father. They love me, but the men have a man vibe that I will never fully get!

  8. dear wendy,
    i understand what you are going through..and this is from a teenage perspective. My mother actually went through the same thing except she ended up playing both roles for us(the mother and father part) because my parents did end up separting in the end. but although you seem as if your not the fun parent right now. Your kids will always need you.. and love you for the mother that you are to them.Boys naturally have a natural bond with their father its just human nature, but boys will always love their mother. So think of it as not loosing them..because as long as they know your there you'll never be forgotten and just let your husband handle things..and maybe take a little time out for know all mothers deserve it. :)


  9. My boys (now grown men) love their dad, but I'm the one they call on the phone and visit most often. You'll see in the end, Mom ends up the favorite, no matter how much fun dad was.

  10. There is no justice! But boys do love their Moms in a way girls love their Dads! It is a special relationship. And who will get the dance at their wedding someday?!!

  11. Yep, yep, yep, sounds familiar. I don't know how we wind up with this division of labor, but we do.

  12. Yes, the men stick together. But they know where to come when they need something. Seems to always happen just about the time we're feeling unnecessary.

  13. Oh, the joys of raising children! I remember the 'Daddy do it' stage. To be honest, I was so exhausted by then (neither of them slept very well) that I was only too happy to hand over to Dad for a while!

    I remember the bed wetting stage, too. And I surely don't miss that!

    You make it all sound such fun, though! LOL!

  14. I am convinced that nothing beats mommy love.

  15. Poor Mommy! You're not second fiddle. You and their dad are like co-fiddlers when the kids are young. They have to learn from both of you.

    And remember, you can definitely justify a spa day here and there by telling Papa that the kids really want some Dad-time...


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