A Southern girl cannot go without her sweet tea. Just don't even ask. And don't even be foolish enough to try to stand in her way when she's on a mission for said tea. She's insistent, persistent, resistant and remarkably like a hypoglycemic brain-seeking zombie except perhaps slightly less smelly. And with better skin. And better balance. Okay, maybe not really like a zombie at all, but definitely purpose-driven.
So, I was in the drive-thru at The Worst McDonald's in History. I eased up to the speaker and placed my order. This is the nightmare that transpired:
Me: I'd like a #whatever-it-was with a sweet tea.
McD: Okay, I've got a #whatever and... what did you want to drink?
Me: Sweet tea, large.
McD: We don't have sweet tea for that order.
Me: You're out of sweet tea??
McD: No, we're not out. You just can't get it with that order.
Me: Um... [big pause]... why?
McD: We don't serve tea with that order.
Me: I don't understand. (Honestly, I wasn't trying to be difficult, I really didn't understand.)
McD: You can get [insert big long list of drinks here] with that combo.
Me: But not tea?
McD: No, ma'am.
By this time the cars were lining up around the corner. And yet, I couldn't stop myself.
Me: But you have tea?
Me: And you have cups?
McD: Yes ma'am. If you order a number blah-blah or blah-blah you could get sweet tea.
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't understand. I'm certain I've gotten sweet tea with that order before.
McD: That must have been a mistake. We aren't allowed to serve tea with that combo.
Me: Why not?
McD: I don't know. That's just what we're supposed to do. It's not even a choice here on the machine when we punch in that order.
Me: Listen, does it make any sense AT ALL to you that I can get a sweet tea with a fish sandwich but I CAN'T get it with a cheeseburger? Does that sound right at all?
Me: You probably really want me to drive around and stop messing with your drive times. I really want a sweet tea. How about you put me down for whatever drink order you want and then just fill the cup with sweet tea. Then I can get my dinner and you can stop talking to me which I'm sure would make your day a whole lot easier.
McD: Yes ma'am. That'll be $7.62, please pull around to the first window.
Nom nom nom.
[photo credit: MadMan the Mighty]