Messed up Google... really? How can that even be?
The meme goes like this. You go to Google and type in "[your name] needs" (WITH the quotes but without the brackets) and then you make a list of things you see in the search results. Only NOW when you do it you see twelve million other people with my name who have done the meme so instead of getting really funny search results, you get really funny versions of other people doing the meme and they all look pretty much the same.
I thought about sitting around and just whining about it and feeling sorry for myself, but then decided I'd pick another word instead of "needs" and see if I can still get something funny. Below is the result of the modified meme searching for "Wendy sees" via Google:
- Wendy sees red
- Wendy sees the horror
- Wendy sees trouble
- Wendy sees more horror (This is starting to become alarming.)
- Wendy sees Billie being tortured for being alone (I'm thinking of quitting while I'm ahead. Am I ahead even??)
- Wendy sees the helmet (Wendy has a feeling she should be putting the helmet ON.)
- Wendy sees herself as very lucky to have a blessed life and great family (except for poor, tortured Billie)
- Wendy sees quickly the level of commitment and caring she brings to her job (on what day?)
- Wendy sees the discovery that Lucien has a phobia of clowns (poor Lucien)
- Wendy sees things
- Wendy sees Alaska as a place where she can be free
Okay, now as amusing as this pasttime might be it doesn't seem nearly as satisfying as describing what I actually have seen today. Anyone with a weak stomach should go to a nicer, more reader-friendly blog.
- Wendy saw her mother trying to make "fake pickles" in the refrigerator at work.
- Wendy saw inside the window of a rent house that had 80 pounds of dirty laundry on the floor.
- Wendy saw The Toddler sneaker-skiing on a mound of gravel.
- Wendy saw a baby kitty folded in half by her two year old.
- Wendy saw her mother flirting with an old man and was alarmed and sickened by it.
- Wendy saw her cup of tea boiling over in the microwave.
- Wendy saw a total stranger doing numerology in her office.
- Wendy saw the decayed remains of a tree her brother cut down from her yard, a tree which grazed the end of the porch, bending down a corner of her new metal roof.
- Wendy also saw that mysteriously a plum tree is also missing from her yard and would attribute that to her chainsaw-happy brother as well.
- Wendy saw a creepy, diseased dog with wet mush coming out of its ear and eye (and subsequently had someone call the animal control officer).
- Wendy saw The Toddler jumping up to try to catch the moon.
- Wendy saw a note from the teacher saying her oldest son is advanced in literacy!
- Wendy saw her husband explain to her advanced-in-literacy son that the word "there" is only ONE syllable, not TWO as in "thay-er". (This is what sometimes happens when you raise a child in the South.)
- Wendy saw two unfamiliar teenage boys throwing sneakers into her yard.
- Wendy saw her husband remove the garbage disposal and not replace it so now there's a big hole in her sink.
- Wendy saw five, no... six Toddler turds in the bathtub. Just tonight.
Those are just a few things from my day. I hope yours was fabulous and totally poop-free. What did you see today?