For some reason my husband wanted to watch Amistad on this fine Sunday afternoon. To distract myself from the sheer horror of it I decided to go look at some statistics about my blogs. I usually save it for a time when I really want to punish myself or deflate my "huge ego the size of Montana" (as Rob calls it).
I've decided, after viewing some of the key phrases people have used that brought them to my blog, that either I'm really screwed up or that people have worse problems than I do. Or maybe we're all in the same boat and it's sinking.
Since I had a great time perusing this list, I thought you might as well get some benefit, too. With or without the horrors of Amistad. If that movie comes walking toward you in a dark alley, just run the heck away. I'm serious.
TOP TEN FREAKISH WAYS TO FIND MY BLOG THROUGH A SEARCH ENGINE:
10. weird correlations
Yes, that will be evident by the time you get to #1.
9. melons pits good
Not sure if they were searching for a food web site, a gardening web site or my post about deoderant. Diversity is good, though.
8. blog +sexy +office +"drive men wild"
Yeah, I want to read that blog, too!
7. someone's gonna get fired for that
See #8.
6. uterus recall
Mine hasn't been, but I wish it would.
5. uterus turn overed
If your uterus has turned over, see #6.
4. infant homemade remedies for vomiting
I feel your pain. I'm surprised I don't also have half a dozen entries for infant poop and also several entries for boogers, thrown food, poop in the bathtub, a variety ways to pee on mommy and possibly something involving a number of different types of dead bug.
3. 2 year old has to rearrange blankets over and over
Tristan, someone is looking for you.
2. childfree 2009
If all goes according to plan, 2025. However, every other parent I've spoken to who has adult children say it's more likely to be 2045 or later.
1. are moldy avocados okay?
I would say no, but if you were to ask my mom she'd just tell you to cut the bad parts off.
Lady, you crack me up! :D
ReplyDeleteAnd my mom says the very same thing about moldy food. Lol.
Montana ego? Perfectly normal. : )
ReplyDeleteTexas ego? A bit full of yourself.
Alaska ego? You really think you're hot shit.
Most bloggers need parkas.
It's great that we can all seek help in complete privacy now, for such problems as "uterus turn overed".
ReplyDeleteTell me - how do you get access to these stats for your blog? I am kind of curious about why people from Latvia and Bangladesh are seeking me out.
Paige, I feel the same about you! :D
ReplyDeleteJohn, I'm working my way up to Alaska!
Chris, try Google Analytics. I'm not really a power user, but I figured enough out to do some things. I'm sure I could be using it much better, but I'm lazy!
Rotflmbo!! And look at how randomly you found *me* and then I found you. Hehe.
ReplyDeleteEnvie, I don't even remember how I found you. I wasn't looking for a turned over uterus, was I??
ReplyDeleteHow *did* I find you?
OMG that's great! I usually check out my stats by glancing over the Webmasters page lol maybe I need to actually read them..
ReplyDeletehaha, very funny searches! mine are so perverted, I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself before reading them. I guess that's what I get for being a pervert! LOL
ReplyDelete"The Blogess" has some really funny ones. Of course, if you read her blog at all it's understandable why hers are so messed up. Mine are really bland by comparison.
ReplyDeleteUnless I'm completely confused, you found me looking for writing posts for the letter blog? But then when I look at your profile, it says you follow that one and not write it. I get confused easily.
ReplyDeleteThere are some creepy people searching for things (late at night usually) that I couldn't imagine if I forced myself to think of twisted searches. I hate when the result is a pic of my kids.
ReplyDeleteMy mom would tell you to cut the bad parts off the moldy avocado too.