June 1, 2009

So Blue

Motherhood is a sorority. I assume Fatherhood is a fraternity in the same way. I have seen the way my husband bonds with other dads in a cool and sexy, "hey, look at us, we're cool dads" kinda way.

As members of this motherhood sorority I expect certain privileges such as some level of camaraderie, loyalty and tolerance. Am I completely naive? (Probably.) And if I can't get THAT, at least there should be an unwritten rule that goes something like "Thou shalt not sabotage another mother." Is that asking too much?

The reason I'm even thinking about all this is because my kids are blue. Not emotionally. Literally blue.

Let me flash back to being at Wal-Mart. There I was with the brilliant notion that what my kids really needed was a sandbox. Nothing elaborate -- just a cheap $10 pool and some sand. I wasn't sure it would go well because Tristan was a big sand-eater last year. You'd think that after the first handful of sand he'd lose interest in eating it, but not that boy.

So I get the little pool all picked out and as I'm looking around for the sand I run across this other mom who sees what I'm doing and she says, "You should get the blue sand. It's really cool." She said it wasn't that much more expensive than the regular sand and the kids just love it.

And she was right. It was pretty cheap and the kids loved it. What she neglected to mention, or possibly in a more sinister way purposely avoided telling another member of the Motherhood Sorority is that blue sand turns kids blue. Blue. Lady, wherever you are there is lice or bubblegum hair in your future. I'm certain that the karmic wheel turns 24/7 and your home address just got pinned to it. (Unless, of course, having blue kids is karmic payback for me... but surely not!)

Now what I'm wondering... is it bad to use an S.O.S. pad on your kids? There's nothing on the label that says you shouldn't and, see... well, my mom is still out of town so I don't have anyone else to ask.

50 comments:

  1. Congratulations on Blog of Note! Love the vibe here. =)

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  2. I'd like to second that of 'Ellie' congrats on the 'blog on note'.....
    it's a good read.....how bout popping over to: doweneedanotherhero.blogspot

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  3. I popped in to say hi.
    Abstract and simple you have in post.
    Blue is a colour you avoid in sweets because think of all those chemicals need to make the colour.
    Red is nice as it resembles strawberries.

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  4. I love this post, and it really did made me laugh out loud. It reminds me of the day my daughter, then age three, decided to colour in her brother, age eighteen months, with a blue biro pen. She had literally scribbled all over him from face to feet. it took about three days of baths for the marks to fade.

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  5. Just caught you in the Blogs Of Note..Congratulations.This post was hilarious.

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  6. Really?

    Thanks for the warning. I was thinking of getting a sand box and since my favorite color is blue, I may have grabbed that blue sand. Maybe only getting a few bags of blue to mix with regular sand will kill the blue skin issue if you still want fun-colored sand for the kids.

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  7. This reminds me of a book of magic tricks Penn and Teller put out some years ago. Inside the book is a cake recipe that appears to have come from a magazine. If you follow the recipe, the batter will explode in the oven. May the sorority sabotuer recieve such a recipe and decide to use it.

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  8. In defense of the karma mom, we have blue sand and it never turned my son blue. Maybe she wasn't setting you up for disaster. Then again...maybe she has some kind of smurf fetish.

    A lot of times I wonder WHY a blog was chosen as a Blog of Note, but I've enjoyed browsing through yours. I absolutely concur with the nominating committee. :) Take care!

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  9. I say dress them in white hats and trousers and make them sing the smurf song, hours of entertainment for all the family :o)

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  10. Saw you on Blog of Note.

    We have the purple sand and it's never turned my son purple.

    Did you buy the Crayola version or a knock off? Maybe it matters?

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  11. WOW! :)
    congrats on the blog of note thing! I read your blog anyways but then I saw the blog of note and I knew I had to hurry and check yours out! haha :)
    hope the kids get normal again...even though I am sure they think it is pretty cool being blue...haha :)

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  12. Make the best of the situation, Wendy.

    Step 1: Go buy a drum set.
    Step 2: Put the boys to work on perfecting a perplexing and creepy thousand-yard stare.
    Step 3: Shave their heads.
    Step 4: Audition them as the youngest members of the Blue Man Group, and pay me 15% of their gross receipts.

    Everybody wins!When life hands you lemons, beat someone up for a Coke.Kristian
    Coquetting Tarradiddles

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  13. wonderfull blog..
    ypur blog is nicely.. your content is important to bloggers other. please give me some comments and FOLLOWER me.
    I like for all... i will visit again

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  14. Hello Wendy~ LOL over this post. It's hilarious. It reminds me of when my dog, Mateo (Jack Russell), found a blue ink pen to chew on. In the process of chewing on this pen he broke through the skin and his white paws were blue for days. I'm sure a good bath or three will help in getting the blue off. Hope all else is well. Have a great day.

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  15. The only problem with the S.O.S pad is that instead of blue they will be red. But, hey, if you like red, then it's not an issue!

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  16. Loved to see mom's over the world are going thru the same stuff - when are women going to start sticking together just like men do? I joined you all the way from Johannesburg SA because for an American women your blog is down to earth and easy to resinate with which is clearly why it was on blogs of note - congratz!

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  17. Wow blog of Note!!! I see why:) Blue sand that's sounds just as bad as that "Moon Sand" you know that suppose to be mess free sand!!!

    I think a bunch of old men sit around in these toy company's and secretly pay all of us mother's back for something their mothers did to them:)

    Love your post,
    Ms. Wanda

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  18. Did you know your nicely blog is important to bloggers other? I knew it already, but I was too shy to say anything.

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  19. Try a loofa first :)

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  20. Forgive me for saying, but that is hilarious! It reminded me of the rare occasions that we will take the kids to Ponderosa on a kids night. Blue mashed potatoes and green macaroni and cheese. Seriously why do we think that kids won't like something unless it is in bright colors. So, do your kids kind of look like Violet Beuregard now? Probably a loofah would help to scrub some of it off. Or, try Lava soap. When I was little that was the "magic" soap that my dad always had that would take anything off.....I'm going to be chuckling all day long now!

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  21. OMG - that is hilarious! Have you tried calling the sand company??

    Found you on Blogs of Note. I'm a Porch Sitter now!

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  22. I nominated you for a SPLASH AWARD! The Splash Award is given to alluring, amusing, bewitching, impressive, and inspiring blogs.

    You can see it at colleensobxblog.blogspot.com

    Keep up the great work.
    Colleen

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  23. SOS pad maybe not the greatest idea, however my dad scrubbed his little brother clean with comet and he's still living. Actually I would guess that lemon juice and salt 2/1 two a parts lemon juice to 1 part salt would get the blue off. it works for self tanner ;-) good luck with your smurf children.

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  24. LOL! Yuck! That evil woman! HOpe it comes off soon...

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  25. What else is a brillo pad for if not for the kids? We had to use Quick and Bright on our son when he was 3 when he decided coloring himself in black sharpie from head to toe was a great idea!

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  26. What, no pictures of the blue kids? Now that's what I want to see!! LOL

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  27. While blue kids are a problem I think you also need to publish the brand name of the sand so that other kids will be spared the blues.

    If you like check out my blog - its about a different type of motherhood experience
    http://deedee-tiredoftrying.blogspot.com/2009/05/tired-of-disappointment.html

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  28. Maybe that woman likes her kids blue...

    I say, open a small hole at the bottom of the pool(on the low side) and splash the sand with water... Maybe it'll make the color go away... at least partially

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  29. Sorry the kids are blue. At least you got a great story out of it. Congrats on the Blog-of-Note.

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  30. I think she was innocent! I'm sure it was the mixing of the pool and the sand that turned your poor babies into smurf-a-likes. The other mother didn't necessarily know you were buying both, right? Or maybe the kiddies are a little more susceptible to dyes haha.

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  31. OMG, thanks for the warning! I have heard of this blue sand of which you speak. But I'll be wary.

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  32. Blog of Note? I missed it? OH WENDY! YAY! YOU are truly deserving!

    I was gonna' suggest vinegar and then mineral oil. Thanks for the "Blue" tip too. I do a sandbox every year and I have the feeling sending my dainty granddaughters home...BLUE...wouldn't earn me any a those good granny points!

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  33. Too cute, and yet so sad at the same time. Hope that mom gets hers. Karma is certainly to find her.

    I found you on Blogs of Note, also. Looking forward to reading you more often!

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  34. Haha! (Grin) Sorry for laughing! I have two toddlers and can totally picture that scene! I'll have to say however, as a member of the Fatherhood Fraternity, we appreciate a good mess!

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  35. if the lady you met at wal-mart avoided telling you that the blue sand would color the kids blue on purpose, then i wish her both the lice and bubblegum in her hair..hmph!

    i hope the blue comes off of the poor guys soon..

    love reading ur posts :)

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  36. I'm thinking no to the SOS pads unless you want your kids to write a book about when they grow up. . . bummer about the blue, though, I suppose you had just spring cleaned as well and now have blue toddlers running about laying blue hands on everything?

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  37. Funny stuff! I love reading people's blogs that really know how to tell a story so that we are able to visualize it like we were the ones telling it. I will definitely be back!! Congrats on Blogs of Note!!

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  38. blue sand? and i thought blue lollipops in our country is as sucks as wall paint!

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  39. Found your site through blog of note - congrats. I am a mother as well and found baby wipes work wonders on many things. I would be wary of SOS on skin - it may lose small pieces of steel wool. Good luck in your efforts.

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  40. Try a nice homemade sugarscrub darlin. All Natural, and the sugar should pumus that blue right off!

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  41. I was scared when I saw the photo -- what is that???? -- uh, now I know. What I want to know is how you are going to respond to all the comments on your super, fabulous, funny blog!!!

    How blue are they? from the knees down? from the elbows down? Faces, too?

    I think I'll try pink for S.

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  42. I feel for you I would be so upset, Karma beats everyone in the end I'm sure she'll run into a mother who just might turn the tables on her or maybe that's why she did it but karma always wins even if it takes time.

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  43. Please tell me that the blue is gone by now! OMIG!

    Hugs, Rose

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  44. Wow, poor kids, ha. :) Maybe you should just let them soak in a lonnnnnng bath.

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  45. Definitely try the brillo pad. If that doesn't work, whip out the Tilex. Just tell them to close their eyes first. ; )

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  46. I ran accross your blog while chiecking my family blog. I must say I thoroughly enjoy your writings. Look forward to reading more.

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  47. Tell others they are understudies for the 'blue man group!'

    Another hilarious post wendy!

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  48. Oh, you are funny! You've sure kept me smiling as I read=)

    Lethea

    Luvdaylilies at bellsouth dot net

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  49. I just found your blog from a fellow blogger and friend of mine. Wish she had let me in on your blog sooner. I've never laughed so hard in my life! Thanks for lowering my blood pressure and the the smiles on my families face as I read your articles to them.

    As a side not, wonder if rinsing the sand would stop the bluing effect.
    Hugs,
    Vikki

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