June 22, 2009

How to Become a Vegetarian in One Easy Step


The other night at dinner we sat down as a family over some delectable, juicy pork loin, stuffing and vegetables.

We talk of the days events, life, or whatever the kids want to talk about.

As we're sitting there, Julius (who is our science guy and avid learner) asks, "Is pork a pig?"

"Mmmhmm," I said as I stuffed more in my mouth.

"What part of the pig is the pork chop?"

I glanced over at Rob, not being up on my pig anatomy and all. He looks back at me for a minute. I can see the wheels turning.

I ventured a guess. "Shoulder?"

He nodded. "Pretty sure."

Julius stuffs another piece of food in his mouth. "This is really good pig shoulder, Mom. It's very juicy."

My mouth suddenly dried up.

Julius chewed a while. "What part of the pig is bacon?"

"His belly, I think." I glanced over at Rob who nodded.

"What about ham?"

"Oh, well, that one I think is his hip, kind of right here..." I motioned from my waist down around to the bottom of my, well, bottom.

Julius put down his fork and laughed and laughed. "Ham is pig butt, ham is pig butt!"

"Pig BOTTOM," I corrected, pushing my plate away. My appetite was decidedly diminished.

Rob eyeballed my plate. "Are you gonna finish that pig shoulder?"

"Um, no, definitely not."

44 comments:

  1. I went thru this recently with my grandson, about chickens. He wanted to know what part of the chicken that the chicken nuggets came from. It was not a comfortable conversation!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't forget to make sure he enjoys his cooked chicken menstruations in the morning, along with his crispy strips of fried pig belly and a great big glass of milk that's been freshly squeezed from the teat of a lactating cow's mammary.

    Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

    Kristian
    Coquetting Tarradiddles

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh man, now I am feeling bad about that Breakfast Jack I just wolfed down. Pig butt, egg, cheese. From butt to butt in my case. LOL!

    :) Debi

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh dear...personally, I confess to being a carnivore, and pork is my favorite meat, but I sure wouldn't want to discuss body parts over dinner! LOL! Kids say the darnedest things and ask the most discomfiting questions, don't they?

    Could be worse, I s'pose...imagine if dinner was squid...or (shudder) fried scorpion...okay, I'll stop.

    Your kids sound like they have awesome personalities!

    Blessings to you and yours. :)

    b.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL! I've had this same conversation at our dinner table! Although it takes a lot to take away my appetite. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  6. All I can say is oink (Did I spell that right)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The curiosity of children is highly overrated.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It's sad how many kids don't know where their food comes from. Glad to see your's asking, sorry it ruined your appetite. You ought to buy a whole chicken and have him help cut it up.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh man. I don't look forward to the day these questions come. I don't eat pork, but do eat chicken. Although I suppose once the questions start I might drop that, too!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Damn and I'm such a bacon lover!!! I'll make sure to try and erase this post from memory ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is hilarious. I remember having these conversations when my children were younger. Yep, it can really mess with your appetite.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Too funny. I try not to think about it when I'm consuming a formerly living creature. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am a veggie so can totally relate to this conversation! I stopped at a friends house one morning and while sitting on the porch, she ran into the house saying she was hungry. She came out holding a chunk of cold beef dipped in gravy. After looking at me she made the comment, "Nothing like a good hunk of muscle to start your day!". I almost lost it right then and there!

    ReplyDelete
  14. My kids have to help with transforming the animal into the product so they try to find other inappropriate things to discuss while we're eating. Once you've plucked a few chickens or made sausage, the thrill is gone, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I rarely eat beef, I eat chicken because it's a "good" meat, I eat fish because I like it but I eat pork because I LOVE it!

    This is especially hard because I grew up on a farm in Canada and the pigs were my personal favorites. I named them all and would bring them treats and scratch their backs.

    I have managed to push those thoughts to the nether regions of my mind though as I happily cook and eat my favorite meat.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yeah I always feel vaguely evil when I have these conversations with my kids.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Maybe you should introduce him to haggis. I never believed what was in it, but still love it and can't eat it often enough.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Last week we were eating chicken and my 5 year old daughter started referring to hers as 'the carcass'. Too much animal planet, I think. It is nasty though - when you think about it. I've been reading about how bad all meat is for people, and thinking meat is on its way out in our house.

    ReplyDelete
  19. We raise almost all our own meat and process (my husband does the dirty work) quite a bit of it. We are pretty well over the squeamishness, but have commented that if people had to raise their own meat the world would be full of vegetarians.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I lived through a similar dinner conversation with my child, who when faced with delectable spice-cured Italian porchetta, said "you mean this is de-boned Babe?!"
    End of meal.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I have been accused of being responsible for my daughter's aversion to eggs. Apparently, it was something I said about her consuming baby chickens.

    ReplyDelete
  22. HAH ! I had a good laugh just now.

    I like your blog, it is very interesting.


    ps; I was a vegetarian for 9 months

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. That was funny :) I personally don't mind talking about that kind of stuff while I eat. Here in Japan we eat shrimps with the head still on, whole fish (with the head) and sashimi served on the fish they just cut up; sometimes, it's still moving.

    ReplyDelete
  24. When my son was five he asked if it was true that hamburger was cow, to which I responded "Yes, it sure is." At that moment, he calmly re-wrapped his McDonald's burger and pushed it to the side and went about enjoying his fries and iced tea. He didn't eat meat for a long, long time. I'm a vegetarian, but I still cook meat for him if he wants it, he just never seems to want it. He remembers finding out what it was like it was yesterday too. It's interesting how affected he was by it and yet I have friends who were raised on a farm and it never bothered them one bit. Just depends on your personality, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oy. When I saw your post title, I thought the one easy step might be, "Go see the movie Food, Inc."

    I saw it on Saturday night, and I've decided we can no longer eat food.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Love pork chops. When you get your appetite back for pork chops here's a recipe I think you'll like.

    1 pkg of pork loin chops thinly sliced
    1 can cream of chicken soup
    2 yellow squash
    1 cup cooked instant white rice

    Fry pork chops till browned
    While you're frying the chops cook your rice.
    In big bowl stir together cream of chicken soup with 1 can of water then cut squash in slices and add to soup. When rice finishes cooking add this to your bowl of squash and soup.
    After pork chops are done frying drain oil away except for 1 or 2 tbsp then add other ingredients w/pork chops and cook until squash is tender. This is a great meal. If you try it let me know. Have a great night.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I can so relate. Though this time I can't blame it on the kid.

    My mom and I and Mr. M went to lunch last week at an Italian restaurant and I ordered calimari.

    They brought it to the table and my mom said, "that's squid, right?" Right, I said, digging in. "Is it good?" my mom asked. "Oh yeah. This is just about the best calimari I've ever had," I said. "But it's squid? It's squid? It's so chewey, so tendony," she said, disgusted. As I chewed the last bite of my life.

    ReplyDelete
  28. HAHA! Wendy, ur post will work as a potent stimulus to ensure that i stick to my diet (control).

    But i hope yu get ur appitite back soon. :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. I love discussing food with our 3 yr old! Super fun story. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I feel ya. I am constantly thinking in my mind that I should just give up meat altogether considering that when I really think about what I'm eating, it makes me sick.
    Then I remember that I live on a farm where we RAISE meat and come from a long line of meat raising people and that I would probably be disowned. I'm like the little kid hiding his vegetables except it's easier for me because the dog has no problem quietly eating the meat I sneak to him...

    ReplyDelete
  31. I tagged you, M'Lady! Visit my little corner of the blogosphere. And try not to hate me too much. :) xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  32. Too funny. Myself, I try not to think about the previous location of my food. It makes it much more tasty. Now off to have some big belly...Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I just became your 777th follower. I expect my prize to be delivered promptly and with great urgency!

    Kristian
    Coquetting Tarradiddles

    ReplyDelete
  34. My son, you know, is also sciency and loves to wonder aloud about which anatomical sections of dead animals we eat. He finds chicken boobs fascinating, and he still drinks milk even though he knows it's nearly the same thing as breast-feeding from a cow. But he does find breast-feeding from a goat mildly repulsive (?). He actually likes to eat off-the-beaten path organs and parts like livers, stomachs, and feet because--well--just because. Has your son ever sucked the marrow out of a chicken bone? Maybe that activity could be for a future dinner. I LOVE THIS POST!

    ReplyDelete
  35. My father ruined eggs for me for a while when I was a child ... every time I would take a bite he would whisper "peep peep peep" ...

    ReplyDelete
  36. Thanks everyone for your awesome comments. I read every single one and to respond to those I can! (I wish there were two of me.)

    To any of you who added gross stories (and you know who you are...) thanks a heckuva lot. You are now officially on my "don't invite those people for dinner" list. :D

    Countryfriedmama: Were it not for the curiosity of children I might not have anything to blog about. :D

    Madame DeFarge: You can introduce haggis to him when we come to visit.

    Noelle: I would like to see what would happen if your daughter and my son had a play date. I think that would give us both a lot to blog about.

    Kanmuri: At the risk of me sounding culturally discriminatory... that's just wrong. :-P

    Becky: I'm just wondering what you're living on now. Maybe you're like a little air fern. Or perhaps you're only eating red licorice ropes which, technically, is more of a plastic rather than a food.

    Michelle: I'll have to try your recipe. Thank you!

    Tati: I will have to discuss the matter with your father. Hmph!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Morbid little devils, children, aren't they? LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  38. My son-in-kaw worked at a meat processing plant for a year. He has never been able to eat meat since.

    ReplyDelete
  39. You just reminded me of my wife. She cooks bacon but she can't stand the talk about where it comes from. Many thanks for another fab post.

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
  40. i became a vegetarian after my dog died in december 08. everytime i'd look at meat and think about her and how it could be her. since then i haven't eaten meat.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me what's on your mind!