Thanks for Outing Me, Netflix

My mom moved from a roomy three bedroom house and downsized to a 192 square foot cabin because... well, because she's my mom and She Has Ideas.

She's also very frugal and doesn't like to spend money on certain luxuries like a television, and yet she is totally addicted to movies.  I keep telling her she needs to get Netflix and then she can get all the movies she wants and it will be cheaper than cable. And besides, she hates the cable company.  But that's another whole story.

Finally, after nagging her a very long time, I tell her she should at least try the streaming videos from Netflix over the computer and I tell her she can try it out on my account for a while and see how she likes it. I wasn't particularly worried about her snooping around in my stuff because she's not really that computer savvy and, besides, the worst thing you can say about the movies I watch is that they are stupid and violent and not good for much else but taking your mind off work.

So, I was very surprised when I got a call from my mother one random day during which she asked me why I had so much "gay and lesbian stuff" on my Netflix account.

"What do you mean 'gay and lesbian stuff'?" I quickly began thumbing through my mental files to remember if I had rented any "gay and lesbian stuff" from Netflix, but couldn't think of anything except "Three to Tango" which is an awesome movie, but not really what I would call "gay and lesbian stuff".

"Well, you know... it says right here on the front page, 'Wendy, you'll really like these movies from Gay and Lesbian...'"

"It says that? No it doesn't say that. Are you kidding me?"  (I knew she wouldn't be kidding me. That's not something my mother would joke about.)

"I'm telling you it says right here that you would like all this gay and lesbian stuff."

"Mother, I have no idea what you're talking about.  Netflix recommends stuff all the time and they're just going through categories or something. It's not a big gay conspiracy."

"Well, you need to look at this. Are you sure there's not something you want to tell me?"

I sighed. "No mom, there's nothing I want to tell you."

What I really wanted to say (but didn't) was, "Even if there was something I wanted to tell you I wouldn't tell you because you'd be berzerk about it just like you are right now. And by the way, I want my Netflix password back."

"Really? Are you sure?"

I sighed again. "Yes, I'm sure, Mom."

She asked, "Would you tell me if there was?"

BIG LONG PREGNANT PAUSE

"Uh, no. Absolutely not."  Seriously, I can't lie to my mom.

"Oh, Wendy."

"Okay, I'm hanging up now."

You know, of course, the first thing I did was go log into my Netflix account and find out what the heck was going on and sure enough in big bold letters was something like WENDY YOU WILL LOVE THESE SELECTIONS FROM GAY AND LESBIAN.

After digging around a bit I found where you can select a place to tell them to make recommendations to you and sure enough, Gay and Lesbian was selected along with Horror films (which I don't like at all) and a couple others that were not things I normally watch.

However, I do like keeping an open mind, so I'm off to go rewatch "Three to Tango" (which I highly recommend) and whatever else Netflix thinks I should watch to broaden my horizons. But not those horror flix.  You have to draw the line somewhere.