November 12, 2009

My 6-Year-Old Son is a Citizen of the Self-Diagnosing Hypochondriac Nation

I was pulling out of the driveway to take Julius to school when he declares that he is allergic to paper carpet.

Me: What's paper carpet?

Him: Well, you know, the leather carpet.

Me: I don't understand.

Him: The carpet in our house. I think I'm allergic to it. That's why I'm coughing so much.

Me: I think you might be right. You know we're getting rid of the carpet, right?

Him: Yeah, and I'm glad.

We rode in silence for a while. From the back seat he said, "Mom, I think I need some Omnaris."

Me: Some what??

Him: Some Omnaris. It's a nose spray. When you use it it helps reduce your nasal allergy symptoms.

Me: Oh. Okay. Well, how about we get rid of the carpet first and see if that helps. And then if it doesn't help I'll take you to the allergy doctor. Sound good?

Him: Sounds good.
Just say "no" to pharamaceutical commercials.


  1. "Just say "no" to pharamaceutical commercials." Seriously, you crack me up!

  2. Well at least he didn't ask for Cialis! My little guy keeps singing the tune. I wish they'd get it off prime Time TV.

  3. HAHA! I'm all for Nasonex instead, simply because the bee is so darn cute and has an accent to die for.

  4. I'm with Expat Mum. I'm waiting for my son to ask me why they are in bathtubs in the middle of nowhere (which I wonder myself) and why we can't move our tub to the great outdoors.

    Love your blog! Always gives me a laugh. Sometimes even hiccups!!! :)

  5. Julius is at it again! Providng material for Mom's blog. Gotta' love that kid!

  6. I'm also with Expat Mom. One of these days he's going to wonder why you don't have two bathtubs in your backyard.

  7. LOL! When he starts quoting the side effects, then you know it's gone too far!

  8. With all the side effects spelled out for every drug, it's a wonder our kids are willing to take anything prescribed.

  9. I'll tell you, I use this natural nasal stuff and I love it. You guys might want to check it out.

  10. Hahaha! Yes, indeed, turn those pharmaceutical adverts off, especially during those after-school cartoons! Mind you, it's a testament to his language skills that he can understand half of those things!

  11. You have to watch if he starts wanting to sue you for maternal malpractice too. It's a slippery slope.

  12. Hilarious. My eight-year-old cousin has proposed very similar things. I have a terribly hard time responding to it as I've never been allergic to anything while she is consistently getting hives from one thing after another.


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