I did another check-in with Google Analytics to see what kind of weird stuff people are looking for when they end up here on my front porch. (For reference, here is a LINK to the last time I did this.)
Last time I did a "Top Ten" but today I think we'll approach this by category:
People Looking for Food
- crumbs from the corner
- broccoli coupon
- fish coupons
- hard gummy worms
- moldy avocado
- why didn't brussel sprouts produce
Also, for the record, you CAN eat hard gummy worms. I have no idea about the brussel sprouts. The only reason I know about the gummy worms is because I have two little boys.
People Who Need to Get Help
- mom on dog
Rule number two: This blog is 99% monkey sex free. It's just how we roll.
People I'd Like to Meet
- blogspot sexy melon
- if you have enough money
- im a winner
- mark your dictionary
People who have enough money and people who are winners... call me. We can hook up for dinner. You're buying.
People in Grave Peril
- thinking about having kids
- dirty diaper hasmat team
- vomit on front porch
- water puddles on front porch
Fortunately, because the human mind is so adept at protecting itself, you'll find most of these horrors dull down to a tolerable level when they are tempered by baby coos, toddler giggling, hugs and smiles.
- spanking your child below the waist
- what are some nicknames for toddlers penis
And wouldn't you know people would start finding me via searches for "nicknames for toddlers penis". I'm thinking of changing this to a gardening blog or a cooking blog. Except I don't garden or cook. Maybe auto mechanics. There's no possible way to work the word "penis" into that topic is there? Or maybe economics? Or how about astrophysics? Or maybe a photo blog about trains or flowers or carousel horses.
Aw, forget it. I'll just stick to what I know.
[photo credit: stefano liboni]