January 15, 2010

Attack of the Gingerbread Zombies

Last Sunday my husband was going through Julius's backpack in order to get him ready for back-to-school after a two week holiday vacation plus one week of being snowed in and school being canceled.

After some digging around in the backpack he pulls out what, at first glance, appeared to be a very adorable Gingerbread Man that the teacher had made for the kids to decorate. At second glance my husband realized that our son had turned the potentially cute gingerbread guy into a crazed gingerbread zombie with a black screaming maw and blood streaming from the corners of his mouth and down his chest.

Rob gasped, "Oh, JOOOLIUUSSSS...." This was followed by a long conversation about how a guy in first grade needs to stick with the expected holiday agenda and on Christmas draw joyful, carefree pictures of gift-giving abundance, well-endowed gingerbread houses and fresh, plump holly berries and mistletoe.

My son's response was to grin maniacally as if what he'd done was the funniest thing in the universe. (As if we hadn't already had conversations about inappropriate artwork such as swastikas and landscapes that make it appear as if his mother must beat him and lock him in the closet sometimes.)

I think we might be safe so far.  We've not gotten any calls from the school just yet, although, maybe they are afraid to call me considering already I've yelled at them once about my kid getting beat up on the bus and also about Jesus.

Secretly, though, the real problem is I think the picture is cool.  I mean, really... bloody crazed Gingerbread Man?  That's some good Hollywood horror material.  I'm thinking about scanning this guy and using it as our family Christmas card next year.  Rob says no, and adds he understands now why our son is like he is.

I'm not sure, but I think he means me.

20 comments:

  1. Anna (now 9) went through a "black art" phase in kindergarten or first grade. She painted everything black. I was beginning to get a little worried. Even the art teacher was noticing it. At one Saturday art workshop at the local fine arts center, the teacher took me aside and whispered, "I took out all the black paint, so Anna can use other colors today." I guess that did it...she moved on to pink.

    I read your post about the mom and dad cards...that brought to mind another Anna story. When she was in first grade, I was at the school, happily reading the stories the kids had written about their families, how much they loved their moms, etc. Then, I get to Anna's story. I almost cried when I read about how mean her parents were. As soon as we were outside, I asked, "Why? Why would you write that????" She answered, "Because you've never taken me to Disney World!" I still haven't...I guess I'm still mean.

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  2. I love that kid of yours! He is a panic! lol

    And I agree with your hubby; the acorn does not fall far from the tree.

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  3. My husband would love you and Julius and your zombie gingerbread men! My sons also tended toward, hmm, how best to put it? ...unconventional art work.

    It took them a while to find their places but one of them now works as an artist for a video gaming company, and the other manages a handmade paper company.

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  4. Just to clarify my comment- that should have read: manages a company which produces hand-made paper products.

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  5. Ok . . . NO FAIR! I wanted to see a picture of him! :)

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  6. hee hee! Leave it to a boy! I've had conversations with my older son's teacher during which I burst out laughing when she told me about something he did and then noticed that she was completely silent. oops. ahem. okay. yeah. I'll talk to him about that, Mrs. Smith...

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  7. Hahaha! Let him enjoy his 'black' phase!

    My older son had his artwork thrown away at nursery school because it didn't 'fit' with the programme. He continued to go his own way, frequently getting annoyed with the schools for what he called 'stupidity' (and we had to agree, quite often ... *Sigh*), but still getting his head down and being a good student.

    When he came to have an IQ test, it turned out he was in the top 2% of the population with a score of 133. I bet Julius is bright, too. ;)

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  8. But kid art and psycho-analysis just go together, girl! Your son's teacher must be way cool. Phew.

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  9. He just likes to think outside the box! It's s good thing!

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  10. I love that you had to have a talk about not drawing swastika's at school. LMAO.

    Your kid definately keeps you on your toes.

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  11. hahahahahaa but hey, he might really have a future in Hollywood!!

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  12. I think zombie gingerbread men could be the next big thing. I'd buy them. Think of the fun you'd have biting off their heads and limbs.

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  13. If you don't use it for your Christmas card next year, may I? :)

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  14. Some faux stitches, a nob in the neck, and Julius could have created an Xmas Frankenbread Zombie Elf or something...*Disclaimer: my pet rock wrote that, not me...bad Seymour*

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  15. I want to see the gingerbread picture! Post it pretty please? ;)

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  16. A crazed Zombie? That's hilarious! Your son may have a feature in the entertainment industry. Graphic art?

    Yes,photo! Photo!

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  17. Two thumbs up for the zombie! I love the idea. And I want a picture, too!

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  18. Zombie gingerbread men as next year's Christmas cards sounds bloody brilliant! Go for it! It'll be the talk of the holidays!

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  19. I once compared you to Anna Quindelin (sp?), but I think you are more like this more contemporary writer: Laurie Notaro. She's like you, hilarious.

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  20. I think that would make an awesome christmas card. And I don't think that is anything to worry about, kids express differently. :)

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