I have always loved the expression "plague of madness", but never really have a great opportunity to use it. I suppose it would be easy to find occasion to us it. I could pepper my tirades with it when talking about banker bonuses, wars in the middle east, stimulus packages, my local weather and, on many days, even my home environment.
But I don't use it, because it seems like it just begs to be saved for a special occasion.
That occasion came last night at about 10:45 when I was pushing a basket around Wal-Mart trying to find some cool valentines for my son's party today. I wandered slowly around the candy aisle looking for just the perfect thing, then headed over to another section of the store where they had all the cheapie kids valentines.
That's when I saw it... the bathing suits. Or more accurately, the bathing suits in February when we've just had an ice storm and people STILL have no power and may not for another 2-3 weeks.
There they were, all skimpy and dangling from their plastic hangers. Look at me, they say, perky and dazzling. And that's when it came to my mind.... Plague of Madness!
The long running joke is that Christmas gets promoted by retailers sooner and sooner every year, but it's not just Christmas. Retailers have basically just taken the knob of the marketing year and twisted it half a turn so that we're buying Christmas stuff before Halloween and bathing suits in freakin' February.
Run through the house with your hands waggling above your heads and yell, "PLAGUE OF MADNESS!!"
It feels really good.